My Family ~ The True Story

I have just returned from a girls’ weekend away with the cousins from my father’s side of the family. We are known as ‘The Graham Girls’ and we represent the generations of Graham women who have gone before and those who are yet to come. We gathered in Winnipeg, travelling from all over Canada for two fun-filled days, sharing memories, hilarious stories, great food and wine and everything else in between.

When I first heard about the dreams and plans for this weekend, I was immediately in. Those who know me are aware I rarely miss an opportunity for fun.

As the weekend approached, anticipation and excitement grew. Some of these girls hadn’t met for 20 years or more. Thanks to the ‘elders’ of our family (Gwenny, Max, Auntie Jan and my dad), we’ve stayed up to date with each others’ lives. They have been strategic in keeping us informed and they’ve done it the old-fashioned way – by picking up the phone.

They called when someone did something extraordinary. When Lynne won another gold medal in rowing, when Debbie’s horse came first in a race, when Katherine spoke to multitudes, when Dale came back from China, when Dianne had a baby and graduated from nursing and when I came home from overseas. The news didn’t have to be momentous – they called when someone had the sniffles or aches and pains. They called with a birthday wish or just to say hello. Simply put, they kept the family connected the ‘old school’ way and it worked.

This weekend, we all recognised and celebrated the strength in our family. We could see, feel and touch the bond between each one of us. There was a comfortable knowing that we could all feel, there was a cord that bound us together. It was a cord of love.

Our family is like many others. Hearts have been torn apart by death, both childhood and adult loss, we have suffered greatly when cancer has ravaged our homes, we have been hurt by Alzheimer’s, mental disabilities and the pain of divorce. Our family has a story, there is history, there are skeletons, like all families.

The uniqueness I see in our family is that we’ve chosen to walk through these challenges together and come out the other side. Through the pain and the tears, we have found joy. We have clung to one another through the generations and we have chosen to see beyond the grey and sometimes even the dirty. We have chosen to love and celebrate, to nurture and encourage, to bridge the gap left by loss. We are family and family stays together.

I write today with a smile on my face as I think of the fun we have had this weekend. I recall the immediate sense of belonging as I walked through the door and saw faces I haven’t encountered for 20-plus years. Today, I have shared stories of the weekend with my children. I have reminded them that there is a company of people who, in some cases, they’ve never met but who will, on any given day, stand in their corner and support them through anything, simply because they are family.

I am proud to be both a Graham girl and a Garden girl. I am grateful that on both sides of my family there is depth and breadth. It inspires me to go forward with the dream of family that I treasure in my heart. I am convinced more than ever that one generation must deposit into the next, and I truly believe that if you strengthen a family, you strengthen a community, which in turn strengthens a province and impacts a country.

To the Graham girls who have gone ahead of me – I honour you. To the Graham girls of today – I am so thankful that I am on your team. And for the Graham girls of tomorrow – I pray that we will leave a strong and lasting legacy for you to carry into the future.

Susan xo